in America. He had also known me a long time and had just

understand! Oh God! He won't understand!"

"Hush, Sonia! I am not laughing. I know myself that it was the devil

leading me. Hush, Sonia, hush!" he repeated with gloomy insistence. "I

know it all, I have thought it all over and over and whispered it

all over to myself, lying there in the dark.... I've argued it all

over with myself, every point of it, and I know it all, all! And how

sick, how sick I was then of going over it all! I have kept wanting to

forget it and make a new beginning, Sonia, and leave off thinking. And